Example:

by | Nov 22, 2022 | Creative writing

Writing Style:
Objective, third person, and active.
Example:
A maneuver advisor team provides a distinct advantage and critical
linkage to effectively integrate Partner Force Army elements into US-led
operations during armed conflict.
–
A MAT (third person), does something (active) for a good reason backed
up with evidence (objective) … that’s a really rough example

The first body paragraph is mostly generalizations, so, it would be good to include more specifics.

by | Nov 22, 2022 | Creative writing

For the most part, your introduction is very good, but the first sentence doesn’t fit what you’re saying. If you say “many people assume _______,” then the word “assume” tells the reader that you think they’re wrong to assume that. Here, though, you *agree* with what those people think. So, you need to revise the first sentence of the introduction.
The first body paragraph is mostly generalizations, so, it would be good to include more specifics. Also, don’t bring up effects on body language unless you plan to say something *about* the effects.
In the second body paragraph, the quote doesn’t really fit what you’re saying. Turkle is talking about not getting caught using a phone in a face-to-face class, but you’re talking about Zoom classes where they can easily hide phone use by muting themselves and turning off the webcam. You should find a better quote for what you want to say.
In the third body paragraph, say more about how being distracted on the job caused problems. Trim sentences that dwell on the problem without adding important new information.
Requirements: 3-4 pgs NEED IN 5 HOURS